Love Will See Us Through

Love Will See Us Through 

by Mavic Mercene 

CLM staff in the Philippine Region

Christmas is the most holy and meaningful occasion of the year, because it is the season where families gather and celebrate together. This year will be my first Christmas outside my native hometown, Baguio. Christmases in Baguio were always happy and special because I was with my family. There is also the added joy of reuniting with my relatives, friends and classmates, spending time with my daughter and simply finding peace and solace in my mother’s garden. 

Our Christmas in 2020 is different, because our family will not be together. My twin boys and I will be in Quezon City, my husband in Mindoro and my daughter in Baguio City. Despite this situation, I am grateful for social media which allows us to communicate through FaceTime. Of course, it would have been better to be with each other, but the magic of Christmas lives on. Celebrations, while simple, will continue. Despite what has been, we still have so much to thank God for. This most wonderful and meaningful time of the year will be celebrated with my whole family together in spirit. 

Early this year, the pandemic caught us by surprise. Quarantine immediately ensued. Everything came to a standstill. Ordinary things like securing food became a mental exercise. Should I go out to get our food in the market or should I have them delivered? If I go to the market, what is the best time to go? Is it safe to go at 6:00 am when most people are still getting out of bed or should I go at midday? What if I have food delivered, will my budget suffice to cover the delivery fees as well? 

As the weeks passed, intense emotions like loneliness and anxiety paralyzed and overwhelmed me. As I dealt with my own anxiety, I also worried for my boys’ mental health. I tried to engage them in conversation and household chores but it was difficult to know what was going on in their minds. I thought it would help to be more creative with the food I serve them, so they have something to look forward to.  From YouTube, I learned to cook the food my husband used to indulge them with, added few more from my favorite food vlogger recipes. 

Meanwhile, I agonized over my mother’s high blood pressure attacks which were getting more frequent. I would video call her until she is better because I know that she only needed someone to talk to and listen to her woes and small triumphs.

 I know that my daughter is okay, because she has always been expressive about her feelings and opinions. While it is difficult to get a hold of my husband for regular calls or FaceTime due to poor signal, I always trust that he is coping well, despite being alone in the farm. In our 23 years of marriage, I have witnessed his resilience in the face of any challenge. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

In July, I reported back to the office on a rather regular basis, and was scheduled to go to the Bureau of Immigration on July 21. At home, we had to rethink our ways of interacting with each other especially since cases were rising by the thousands every day. Normally, we would use only the air-conditioned room to save up on electricity. This time, we decided to sleep in separate rooms and observe strict physical distancing measures from each other. They ate at the dining table and I used the coffee table beside my sofa bed. We use our own toiletries and dining utensils.

 As the weeks and months passed by, I found myself asking the universe when I can see my husband and daughter, and hug my twin boys again. It was a painfully sad time. On the first week of October, I could no longer restrain myself so I embraced my sons as if it was the end of the world.

During  times when I felt down and a little depressed, I am grateful to my CLM family for allowing me to have my own space when I was in the CLM House, and for listening to me without judgment when I was finally ready to share.  Because of them, I did not feel alone. 

The pandemic is far from over, and the road to the country’s recovery is not yet in sight. However, I continue to have a heart and spirit of gratitude for what 2020 has been, and I will continue  to seek refuge and strength in HIM for 2021. I remain to trust the Lord’s love for us, the love that assures us of his mantle of protection, the love that promises us of His gentle calm and peace when we are overwhelmed with worries. I trust that the Lord’s love will see us through this ordeal.

Mavic with her twin boys